I’m not sure what it is about me that attracts younger men, but if I could bottle it and sell it to cougars I’d be rich! I have always attracted younger men and never thought of that as a problem. To be honest, I took it as a compliment. But as I’ve put more candles on my birthday cakes, I’ve become increasingly aware that something has to change. The things I used to view as advantages to dating younger men have evolved into draw-backs. Allow me to elaborate. I used to think that dating younger men was easier because they had more flexible schedules, I – being a mother and workaholic – needed someone who could work around my schedule. But the truth of the matter is, without having career and family obligations, these men did not understand why I couldn’t always be impulsive and decide to go on a road trip at the last minute or meet them for drinks at 10pm on a week night. I also realized how vast the difference is when you have an established career and your partner doesn’t. Perhaps they’re trying to establish themselves? Or finish school? Or worse, have no real career goals or motivation? All of these contribute to an inherent misunderstanding of priorities. Often times leading to the younger partner to feel left out, neglected or downright unimportant. This only leads to a feeling of guilt on my part. No one wants their partner to feel as though they’re not a priority.
Another initial advantage was personality compatibility. Younger men seemed less serious. When you’re in an executive role in your career and you’re a mother of teenagers, your life tends to be filled with serious decisions. Call me crazy, but dating should be fun! I wanted someone to go have dinner or a drink with, laugh until my cheeks hurt and have make-out sessions that last far too long. The problem with this initial theory is, these younger men tend to be interested in fun. Not only having fun in life, but solely in having fun dating. What does that mean, kids? They weren’t really serious about me, either.
So…after my experience dating 20-somethings, I’ve decided maybe it’s time for a change. After all, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. And so I’ve officially ventured into the world of dating age-appropriate men.