The Case of the 20-somethings

I’m not sure what it is about me that attracts younger men, but if I could bottle it and sell it to cougars I’d be rich! I have always attracted younger men and never thought of that as a problem. To be honest, I took it as a compliment. But as I’ve put more candles on my birthday cakes, I’ve become increasingly aware that something has to change. The things I used to view as advantages to dating younger men have evolved into draw-backs. Allow me to elaborate. I used to think that dating younger men was easier because they had more flexible schedules, I – being a mother and workaholic – needed someone who could work around my schedule. But the truth of the matter is, without having career and family obligations, these men did not understand why I couldn’t always be impulsive and decide to go on a road trip at the last minute or meet them for drinks at 10pm on a week night. I also realized how vast the difference is when you have an established career and your partner doesn’t. Perhaps they’re trying to establish themselves? Or finish school? Or worse, have no real career goals or motivation? All of these contribute to an inherent misunderstanding of priorities. Often times leading to the younger partner to feel left out, neglected or downright unimportant. This only leads to a feeling of guilt on my part. No one wants their partner to feel as though they’re not a priority.

Another initial advantage was personality compatibility. Younger men seemed less serious. When you’re in an executive role in your career and you’re a mother of teenagers, your life tends to be filled with serious decisions. Call me crazy, but dating should be fun! I wanted someone to go have dinner or a drink with, laugh until my cheeks hurt and have make-out sessions that last far too long. The problem with this initial theory is, these younger men tend to be interested in fun. Not only having fun in life, but solely in having fun dating.  What does that mean, kids? They weren’t really serious about me, either.

So…after my experience dating 20-somethings, I’ve decided maybe it’s time for a change. After all, the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. And so I’ve officially ventured into the world of dating age-appropriate men.

I’m Baaaack!

As most of you know, it’s been a very long time since I’ve submitted an update. Not for lack of desire, my attention has just been focused on other aspects of my life. I stumbled across my old posts and got to reminiscing and realized how much I thoroughly enjoyed sharing my stories. Narcissistic? maybe. But I hope, if nothing more, someone can learn from my mistakes, self realizations, successes and heartbreaks and become better prepared to venture into the wild world of online dating.

Online dating has evolved since I stepped away from the game. We’re no longer tied to websites, there’s an app for that! With the onslaught of new apps available for dating from the insta-craze Tinder to Skout to LetsMeet the possibilities are endless. Never before has it been so easy to connect with total strangers and never before have we so willingly embraced the superficial. Tinder embraces and celebrates our dwindling attention spans by giving you pictures and tagline to gauge whether you’re attracted to someone or not. Once you “swipe to the right” you find out immediately if that person that you judged by a few pics, and perhaps a cheesy tag line, has also indicated he/she was attracted to you. If you’re lucky – you get matched. Now you can communicate. To be honest, there is a bit of genius in this, and I hope this catches on (take note developers). What struck me as noteworthy, is once matched you have two options presented to you. One – Send a message! That’s right, they like you and you like them…now get to talking! But the second option, Keep Playing, drives home the message that this is all a game. Our modern day Hot or Not.

Have we become this shallow? Do we underestimate the complexity of attraction? Or do we over-complicate the simplicity of it all?

I’ll be delving back into the dating world and am looking forward to updating you along the way. Perhaps even filling you in on what’s transpired since I stepped away.

Until next time!