Out with the old…

Happy New Year readers and welcome back to my crazy dating life! Things have been a little quiet on the blog-front as of late and for good reason. For the past several weeks I’ve been seeing someone. {take a minutes to pick your collective jaws up from the floor} Edward and I met over the Thanksgiving break and quickly hit it off after a few weeks of texting. Meeting in person took a little longer than usual. See, he lives over an hour away (normally well outside my dating radius). This is a rule I’ve been flirting with breaking due to my inconsistent results as of late and since Edward seemed so sweet I figured now was the time. So I met him out in Arlington for our first date. Immediately we were attracted to each other. We chatted a bit, played some pool and darts. After my incredible come-from-behind win at darts, he went in for a kiss. It was sweet and soft, the perfect first kiss. I was cautiously optimistic…but optimistic nonetheless. The next several weeks Edward and I didn’t go more than a few days without texting or talking and went on several dates that all went very well. We liked each other, got along well, I even met a few of his friends. He wasn’t afraid of a little public display of affection (which I love) and we even started kicking around ideas for his upcoming 30th birthday in late January. All in all, things were going really well. Edward’s parents were going to visit his sister in South Carolina for Christmas so he was going to be alone. So, I made plans for me to go over to his place for the first time on the night of the 25th. And here’s where things started to rapidly unravel… I arrived at Edward’s house around 7pm. After a few wrong turns down dirt roads…I came up to his address. I knew he lived far away, but I wasn’t planning on an hour and 20 minute drive to his place. Warning sign#1. I walked in, Edward was watching a movie. He greeted me and sat back down, seemingly disinterested that I was there. After a little probing, he told me his parents didn’t even call to wish him a Merry Christmas. He was obviously a little upset about it, and rightfully so. However, he did perk up when his best friend texted him inviting us to join him at a bar. So, Edward got ready to go out and I entertained myself by perusing the pictures that aligned his walls. We arrived to the bar and quickly found Edward’s best friend, Daniel. Against my better judgment, we started the night off by doing shots. We drifted over towards Daniel’s group of friends and I fully expected Edward to introduce me. When he didn’t, I chalked it up to his shitty mood and introduced myself. If I was going to be stuck here I might as well have a good time. Edward definitely seemed more interested in hanging out with Daniel than me, which did not sit well with me at all. I quickly decided to stop playing wallflower and just go and insert myself into their conversation. Almost immediately, Daniel started flirting with me. Making increasingly inappropriate advances…even getting a little handsy at times. When the bar closed Edward, Daniel and I went back to Edward’s house. This wasn’t exactly what I had in mind for our night, but my car was parked at his house so I was at the mercy of the man and his plans. We arrived back to his cozy little love shack and proceeded to do shots (a terrible decision on my part, but I was obviously not in the right frame of mind). Daniel continued to flirt with me to the point that it made me upset. I went to the restroom to collect myself, which turned into tears in my inebriated state. That’s when the bourbon started to make things a little fuzzy.

Here’s what I know: I got upset…and cried. (I hate crying, by the way) Edward came in and we argued. He admitted that he asked Daniel to hit on me “as a test”. Oh, and by the way, I failed. This new-found information didn’t set my mind at ease, it enraged me. A TEST?! seriously? What kind of guy asks his best friend to hit on the girl he’s seeing to “see how she’ll react”? I mean, give me some credit….if…IF… I were going to cheat on Edward, I’m not stupid enough to cheat on him with his best friend right in front of him!

I called one of my good friends to vent about what was going on…got my boo-hoo’s out of my system and Edward agreed to let me stay until I sobered up. I don’t remember our entire conversation, but apparently I said some things I wouldn’t have normally said. Because of my drunken state, I actually felt guilty about the happenings of that night. I left things alone for a few days, then texted Edward to apologize. I told him I was sorry for the way in which I handled things in my drunken state and would like the opportunity to make it up to him, but if not I wish him the best. Then promptly deleted him from my Facebook and my phone. It wasn’t until I told this story to a few close friends (including John) that I realized that I had ABSOLUTELY nothing to apologize for! Why was I upset? Because I was losing a guy who lives an hour and a half away? and has his best friend hit on the girl he’s seeing to “test her”?!

Moral of the story – don’t allow yourself to get so swept up in the chemistry that you neglect learning about each other.

Truth be told, I’m not upset about things ending with Edward. Obviously we weren’t a good match. I was more upset because I lost something I hadn’t experienced in a long time. Hope. Hope that the relationship may turn into something, that it just might lead somewhere. I’m not saying this experience has left me jaded and I’ve lost all hope in finding someone. Actually it’s made me realize that I deserve much more than I have been settling for.