Controversial Convictions & Close-Minded Condemnations

Once in a while we meet someone who challenges our way of thinking. I like to think of myself as completely open-minded. I have a very curious nature and the only way to continue to experience true growth, it’s my opinion that you must be open and accepting to people from all walks of life. But, I may be getting a bit ahead of myself. Let’s back up a bit…and introduce you to Billy.

Billy is a budding photographer, geographically desirable, 6’2, average build, blonde, blue eyes. He is also a father of 2 boys and 1 girl. He plays guitar (swoon!). Billy is a very interesting find, especially in the über-pretentious area that I live and play in. He’d much prefer the mom and pop coffee shop over the local Starbucks, a social non-conformist. Unshackled by the need to “keep up with the Jones'”, which I found instantly appealing. (Especially just coming off a date with a guy who drove 10 miles an hour on a street to avoid the excess water of sprinklers dirtying his newly-detailed and brand spanking new white BMW coupe.)

Oh, and Billy is also married and believes in Christian Polygyny. Think Big Love without all the Mormons. Now, before you get ahead of yourself, Billy was completely transparent in this particular aspect of his life even listing it on his profile. Immediately, I was curious. Fifty thousand questions began swirling inside my head. Everything from “How does that work?”, “How do you date?”, “I know your wives are sharing you, but are you sharing your wives?”…which in the grand scheme of things probably sounds like the most trivial of questions. But, cut me some slack…this is totally foreign territory for me.

After texting for days and having a pretty lengthy phone conversation. I agreed to meet Billy for coffee on a Sunday afternoon. I obviously wasn’t sure what to expect, but was open-minded enough and accepting enough to know that, even if this wasn’t a belief that I subscribed to, Billy and I had the potential of becoming friends. And after all, there’s nothing wrong with that.

The weather was absolutely beautiful so we sat on the patio sharing stories from our hometowns, childhood, children, marriage, etc. We spent hours together that afternoon and it felt surprisingly comfortable. I think there’s something to be said for the ability to sit in silence with someone and not feel eager to fill that silence with mindless chatter. That, to me, is the true testament on whether or not you’re at ease with someone.

Now, I’m sure most of you have been judging Billy throughout this post and probably me as well for being open-minded and accepting enough to meet him. And to those people I say this: although there is something to be said about holding steadfast to your beliefs, far be it from you or I to judge anyone for living their life according to theirs. Billy is a wonderful father and wants nothing but the best for his family, and that…my friends, is extremely admirable.

I look forward to getting to know Billy and his family better. He lives his life completely open about his beliefs and in a close-minded, judgmental society that typically results in very few close friends.

So, here’s to making new friends, embracing diversity in beliefs and religion, and keeping an open mind.

***Afterthought: How can a society idolize a man who lives with multiple girlfriends…not truly committing to any of them and condemn another who’s willing to commit to spend his life with more than one woman? Marinate on that for a while…

About Belinda

Devoted girlfriend. mother. grandmother. View all posts by Belinda

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